There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
