What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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