Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize