proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
