they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
