The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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