You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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