The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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