why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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