i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
