If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
