He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
