Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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