I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
