They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
