Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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