Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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