I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
