Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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