it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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