Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
