Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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  (682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z
  Replies (1) Good night (1214) Bad night (658)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just cropdusted the office

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  (443): Just cropdusted the office http://tfl.nu/i6zb
  Replies (16) Good night (2267) Bad night (581)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

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  (412): I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/sjar
  Replies (25) Good night (665) Bad night (3138)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

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  (205): This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone. http://tfl.nu/jtsj
  Replies (28) Good night (543) Bad night (4926)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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  (630): I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti. http://tfl.nu/166m
  Replies (21) Good night (1167) Bad night (6602)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?

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  (503): I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant? http://tfl.nu/9d2p
  Replies (15) Good night (648) Bad night (3096)
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  (707): View more from California

  I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

  (559): View more from California

  sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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  (707): I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n (559): sry, psychiatrist trumps professor http://tfl.nu/qnkf
  Replies (43) Good night (6608) Bad night (987)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

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  (757): we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink. http://tfl.nu/2r69
  Replies (21) Good night (4765) Bad night (730)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4433) Bad night (988)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  "Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to

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  (804): "Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to http://tfl.nu/kp09
  Replies (14) Good night (4285) Bad night (943)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.

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  (314): The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll. http://tfl.nu/0tct
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (2475)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch

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  (631): My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch http://tfl.nu/rckm
  Replies (6) Good night (1346) Bad night (640)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

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  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (278)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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  (908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (191)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder

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  (205): You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder http://tfl.nu/hpcq
  Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (231)

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