she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Never let your siblings swipe right.