Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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  (484): im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste http://tfl.nu/zz8f
  Replies (54) Good night (1055) Bad night (3407)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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  (303): Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming. http://tfl.nu/sem8
  Replies (41) Good night (881) Bad night (4580)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He passed out mid-signature

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  (816): He passed out mid-signature http://tfl.nu/lnp2
  Replies (4) Good night (4080) Bad night (1291)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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  (206): I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick. http://tfl.nu/yyxj
  Replies (8) Good night (1372) Bad night (4069)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.

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  (610): i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/xt3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2825) Bad night (948)
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  (559): View more from California

  can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.

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  (559): can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock. http://tfl.nu/805r
  Replies (16) Good night (5989) Bad night (1089)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth

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  (915): In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/jkpl
  Replies (5) Good night (1880) Bad night (700)
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  (310): View more from California

  She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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  (310): She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked. http://tfl.nu/yes9
  Replies (13) Good night (5288) Bad night (831)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

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  (614): This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! http://tfl.nu/jjmt
  Replies (14) Good night (6609) Bad night (948)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.

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  (917): I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside. http://tfl.nu/ng1w
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (576)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

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  (914): He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right? http://tfl.nu/6yne
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (556)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  Oh shit. This is getting real.

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  (504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3
  Replies (8) Good night (1352) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Was it a good conversation?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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  (405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (318)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever

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  (919): I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever http://tfl.nu/et05
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (886)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.

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  (863): You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise. http://tfl.nu/26lw
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (249)

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