Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?