Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it because I queefed?

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(802): View more from Vermont

and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.

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(818): View more from California

I'm like cupid

(1-818): View more from California

You're a whore with a bow and arrow

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(765): View more from Indiana

i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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(256): View more from Alabama

It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??

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(802): View more from Vermont

Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy

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