Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
