We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize