i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
