this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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