wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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