I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
