At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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