Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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