Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
