Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he fucked my hip out of place.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
