im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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