She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
