My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
