I wish my penis had an off switch
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
