New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
