I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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