it hurts more in the daytime
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize