SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
