remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize