saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did I show you my penis last night?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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