You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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