i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
