no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
