BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
