? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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