he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
