i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
