I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
