I can tuck mytits in my pants
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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