Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
