she peed on how many people?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
