do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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