I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
