playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize