I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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