did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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