Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
