drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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