As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
