i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
