dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
