as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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