there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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