You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
