sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
