im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
