Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
