its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
